As I sit here just two months before the 2012 Presidential election I have been reflecting on the last several years. And after doing so I found all I had were a bunch of things I didn’t understand and one huge question. Now I am by far not a cunning linguist. And the process of recounting my story and the actual process of writing it would be very difficult for reasons I will explain later. But I feel I would be remiss if I did not say what was on my mind. So I am going to give it my best shot.
As I was watching the news coverage last week I couldn’t help but laugh when I heard the old ‘Are you better off than you were four years ago’ line that some politicians pull out of their hats during campaign time. But shortly thereafter the laughter was replaced with frustration and anger. Why? Because I remembered you had said the very same thing in 2008 along with three other words….‘Hope and Change’. As I looked at my situation which I will explain shortly, I thought could there really be any such thing at this point? I mean how could there be? But I embraced the words and in January 2009 you became our President. Now on to my story.
In the early 2000’s I was no different than many Americans. I worked hard and paid my taxes. And after years of ups and downs I had managed to make my way up the ladder to a successful position in my profession. I had the same dreams as anyone. You know, settle down, get married and raise a family in the suburbs. I was planning my wedding. I had insurance, investments and savings in place. I was finally was on my way.
Then in 2002 tragedy struck. I was injured in a negligent shooting which was no fault of my own. By all accounts I should have died that day. But by some miracle I survived. And that’s where the bad part begins. As I lay at home recuperating I began to suffer different symptoms and disturbances.
I began to hear things. I had constant nightmares and experienced panic attacks. This got worse and worse and I finally discovered I had PTSD. I always thought the same thing many do. This is a soldier’s problem. But apparently it’s not. Nearly dying can have the same effect no matter how it happens. So I sought help. I even used that insurance I had paid for from the job I worked hard at to invest in my future. A job I would never set foot in again as it turns out.
I was not one who gave up easily. But as time went on things deteriorated. And unfortunately after some time I received a diagnosis which said the probability of my ever being able to function normally again was unlikely. That was it. I was disabled. So I did what any hard working, tax paying American would do. I filed for disability. Now anyone who has ever done this knows it is a ridiculously long and complicated bureaucratic process that makes American Ninja Warrior look like an afternoon walk. Well I went through it. And got denied. Then I appealed and got denied. Then went through it again.
Now just in case people don’t know how it works. This process takes years. Yes I said years. But I was told this was to be expected even in cases where disability was apparent. However it finally got to the point where I could not continue on because you have to provide documentation of treatment. Treatment I could no longer afford due to the fact I could no longer pay for it. Why? Because I had to separate from my company and subsequently lost the insurance I had worked so hard to get. The disability insurance I had been responsible enough to obtain also ran out.
It was official. I was out in the cold. No income, no longer able to work and most importantly no longer able to get any help for my condition. From that point on things continued to head south. Over time I was forced to liquidate my investments. And my mental state deteriorated to the point where I developed additional afflictions like OCD and depression. It got to the point where I couldn’t interact with people unless it was absolutely necessary.
Then finally in 2009 I thought let’s see how this ‘Hope and Change’ works out. I approached things with new vigor and once again applied for disability. I had heard there would be changes in the system so things would be different. And it certainly was. I got the denial letter before the paperwork even arrived. That was definitely a ‘Change’. And it only got more horrifying as time went on. I tried again and again. In the end the applications never even made it to the system. Four out of five just disappeared into the bureaucratic ether. This wasn’t simple red tape as before. It was a clear shift to delay applicants with the ‘Hope’ that they would eventually not meet the requirements, give up or better yet just die. And eventually it worked. Even though I filed within the guidelines and am still disabled they won’t even take an application now because there is a time limit that has passed. The most ridiculous part is even if they would take one each filing is considered a new case. And from their perspective I’m someone who hasn’t paid into the system for years. So the monthly benefit wouldn’t be enough for a senior to buy dog food with.
And matters only got worse after that. My car broke and I could not afford to fix it. Can you believe it? A simple car battery and I can’t replace it much less afford the registration renewal. And without the ability to get treatment because I lost the insurance I got from the job I could no longer do, I got some more ‘Change’. As my condition deteriorated further my OCD resulted in the additional manifestation of Agoraphobia. Then a pinched nerve in my neck paralyzed my hands and forced me to go to the hospital. That resulted in $10,000 worth of bills that I could not pay because I didn’t have the insurance from the job I couldn’t do or the disability and Medicare I should have been receiving. Nor could I pay for any therapy which I needed. As of today I have recovered complete function in only one hand and am in excruciating pain which I cannot afford medicine for. So you can imagine typing this has been hard. But that’s not the only reason why. I also developed Glaucoma.. In an attempt to pay for that I began selling stuff off. I had a doctor who was trying to work with me in various ways. But thanks to changes in the healthcare system resulting in increased costs and regulations, it’s almost impossible for him to help anymore.
So Mr. President, according to you I’ve gotten my ‘Hope and Change’. And as I sit here disabled, paralyzed, in pain and slowly going blind, I would like you to help me understand some things. I mean we can relate right? So tell me. Help me understand why I can’t get the benefits I paid for as a tax paying US citizen but an illegal can. Tell me how not ever being able to have a family like you is fair. Tell me how it feels to only leave your home six times in two years. Tell me how easy it will be to handle going blind because I cannot afford the procedure that I know will fix the problem. Tell me how you have been sleeping for the last four years while I have nightmares. Tell me what it’s like to know your retirement is secure. Tell me how never being able to use my hands properly again is for the greater good. Tell me why after four years the American Dream is farther away than ever before.
And finally…tell me why the hell I would I would want to go ‘FORWARD’ one more day with you.
UPDATE:
As if things weren't bad enough the new ACA law is now coming down on me. I went to the healthcare.gov website to see how bad it was going to be. One thing I have learned is it is always bad for me. Not surprising I could not even get on. The 800 number was no more helpful. So I went to the only other place I could find which was the Kaiser Family Foundation.At least I could get an idea how bad it would be. I put in my info. No income, no coverage available to me, non smoker, no kids (Thanks Obama I hope you are enjoying the ones you got to have).
I knew it was going to be bad. I just had no idea how much. Not only would I get ZERO subsidies. But I would have to pay over $2500 just to get the insurance I should already be getting. And for a plan which would be essentially useless. Don't believe me? Look it up yourself. Obviously I can not afford that. Gee I thought I was one of those people you said you were going to take of. And not only that but if I ever make a dime I would be charged a fine to boot. Surprise surprise another lie.
The thing that gets me the most is that there has not been one person who has bothered to even say 'hey I am sorry to hear about your plight', And it is not for a lack of views. There have been many. Not surprising really I guess. People only care about themselves. And people like Bill O'Reilly and Greg Gutfeld are only concerned with whatever will get them ratings. My story is not sexy enough to do that though. So I am officially going to put an offer out there for anyone who has the guts to take me up on it. As of now the Government owes me around 150k in SS payments. If any qualified lawyer can get my SS claim approved I will give them 100k of that money free of charge. i am only interested in covering my bills and the payments I am owed going forward. But what if I am not a lawyer you ask? Well if you are not all you have to do is hook me up with someone who is, And if they successfully help me you will get 25k for your effort. That sounds more than fair no? I say so and I predict there won't be much that comes of it. Please join me. It is November 9th, 2013, Tell your friends and let's see if anyone responds.
UPDATE:
Hello my name is Charlie. I am the brother of Bobby who wrote this article. I just found this posting on his computer. And although not one of the numerous people who have viewed this site has offered to help much less offer a word of sympathy, I thought it only fitting I should take a moment to update everyone. Bob died on New Years Day. Due to his declining vision he fell while trying to go downstairs. His wife was out of town at a funeral so there was no one home at the time. From what we can determine he laid there suffering for about 12 hours before he finally died. He did however manage to leave his wife a message. It read I will love you always written on the wall using the blood flowing from his head.
I used to tell him over and over that Americans were too self absorbed to care about helping anyone but themselves. And that he would die before the government ever paid him any benefits he wss owed. I gave up on humanity and the system long ago. But he continued to believe it wasn't true. Was I right? Yes. But finding this site showed me he really believed it. And in the end I want to think that made him a better man than me in some ways. So even though I personally think you, Obama and the horse he rode in on can go fuck yourselves, I will be leaving this site up for a while to honor his memory. In the meantime I will be trying to help his widow in the inevitable fight to deprive her of the benefits she is owed.
Be proud of yourself America.
As I was watching the news coverage last week I couldn’t help but laugh when I heard the old ‘Are you better off than you were four years ago’ line that some politicians pull out of their hats during campaign time. But shortly thereafter the laughter was replaced with frustration and anger. Why? Because I remembered you had said the very same thing in 2008 along with three other words….‘Hope and Change’. As I looked at my situation which I will explain shortly, I thought could there really be any such thing at this point? I mean how could there be? But I embraced the words and in January 2009 you became our President. Now on to my story.
In the early 2000’s I was no different than many Americans. I worked hard and paid my taxes. And after years of ups and downs I had managed to make my way up the ladder to a successful position in my profession. I had the same dreams as anyone. You know, settle down, get married and raise a family in the suburbs. I was planning my wedding. I had insurance, investments and savings in place. I was finally was on my way.
Then in 2002 tragedy struck. I was injured in a negligent shooting which was no fault of my own. By all accounts I should have died that day. But by some miracle I survived. And that’s where the bad part begins. As I lay at home recuperating I began to suffer different symptoms and disturbances.
I began to hear things. I had constant nightmares and experienced panic attacks. This got worse and worse and I finally discovered I had PTSD. I always thought the same thing many do. This is a soldier’s problem. But apparently it’s not. Nearly dying can have the same effect no matter how it happens. So I sought help. I even used that insurance I had paid for from the job I worked hard at to invest in my future. A job I would never set foot in again as it turns out.
I was not one who gave up easily. But as time went on things deteriorated. And unfortunately after some time I received a diagnosis which said the probability of my ever being able to function normally again was unlikely. That was it. I was disabled. So I did what any hard working, tax paying American would do. I filed for disability. Now anyone who has ever done this knows it is a ridiculously long and complicated bureaucratic process that makes American Ninja Warrior look like an afternoon walk. Well I went through it. And got denied. Then I appealed and got denied. Then went through it again.
Now just in case people don’t know how it works. This process takes years. Yes I said years. But I was told this was to be expected even in cases where disability was apparent. However it finally got to the point where I could not continue on because you have to provide documentation of treatment. Treatment I could no longer afford due to the fact I could no longer pay for it. Why? Because I had to separate from my company and subsequently lost the insurance I had worked so hard to get. The disability insurance I had been responsible enough to obtain also ran out.
It was official. I was out in the cold. No income, no longer able to work and most importantly no longer able to get any help for my condition. From that point on things continued to head south. Over time I was forced to liquidate my investments. And my mental state deteriorated to the point where I developed additional afflictions like OCD and depression. It got to the point where I couldn’t interact with people unless it was absolutely necessary.
Then finally in 2009 I thought let’s see how this ‘Hope and Change’ works out. I approached things with new vigor and once again applied for disability. I had heard there would be changes in the system so things would be different. And it certainly was. I got the denial letter before the paperwork even arrived. That was definitely a ‘Change’. And it only got more horrifying as time went on. I tried again and again. In the end the applications never even made it to the system. Four out of five just disappeared into the bureaucratic ether. This wasn’t simple red tape as before. It was a clear shift to delay applicants with the ‘Hope’ that they would eventually not meet the requirements, give up or better yet just die. And eventually it worked. Even though I filed within the guidelines and am still disabled they won’t even take an application now because there is a time limit that has passed. The most ridiculous part is even if they would take one each filing is considered a new case. And from their perspective I’m someone who hasn’t paid into the system for years. So the monthly benefit wouldn’t be enough for a senior to buy dog food with.
And matters only got worse after that. My car broke and I could not afford to fix it. Can you believe it? A simple car battery and I can’t replace it much less afford the registration renewal. And without the ability to get treatment because I lost the insurance I got from the job I could no longer do, I got some more ‘Change’. As my condition deteriorated further my OCD resulted in the additional manifestation of Agoraphobia. Then a pinched nerve in my neck paralyzed my hands and forced me to go to the hospital. That resulted in $10,000 worth of bills that I could not pay because I didn’t have the insurance from the job I couldn’t do or the disability and Medicare I should have been receiving. Nor could I pay for any therapy which I needed. As of today I have recovered complete function in only one hand and am in excruciating pain which I cannot afford medicine for. So you can imagine typing this has been hard. But that’s not the only reason why. I also developed Glaucoma.. In an attempt to pay for that I began selling stuff off. I had a doctor who was trying to work with me in various ways. But thanks to changes in the healthcare system resulting in increased costs and regulations, it’s almost impossible for him to help anymore.
So Mr. President, according to you I’ve gotten my ‘Hope and Change’. And as I sit here disabled, paralyzed, in pain and slowly going blind, I would like you to help me understand some things. I mean we can relate right? So tell me. Help me understand why I can’t get the benefits I paid for as a tax paying US citizen but an illegal can. Tell me how not ever being able to have a family like you is fair. Tell me how it feels to only leave your home six times in two years. Tell me how easy it will be to handle going blind because I cannot afford the procedure that I know will fix the problem. Tell me how you have been sleeping for the last four years while I have nightmares. Tell me what it’s like to know your retirement is secure. Tell me how never being able to use my hands properly again is for the greater good. Tell me why after four years the American Dream is farther away than ever before.
And finally…tell me why the hell I would I would want to go ‘FORWARD’ one more day with you.
UPDATE:
As if things weren't bad enough the new ACA law is now coming down on me. I went to the healthcare.gov website to see how bad it was going to be. One thing I have learned is it is always bad for me. Not surprising I could not even get on. The 800 number was no more helpful. So I went to the only other place I could find which was the Kaiser Family Foundation.At least I could get an idea how bad it would be. I put in my info. No income, no coverage available to me, non smoker, no kids (Thanks Obama I hope you are enjoying the ones you got to have).
I knew it was going to be bad. I just had no idea how much. Not only would I get ZERO subsidies. But I would have to pay over $2500 just to get the insurance I should already be getting. And for a plan which would be essentially useless. Don't believe me? Look it up yourself. Obviously I can not afford that. Gee I thought I was one of those people you said you were going to take of. And not only that but if I ever make a dime I would be charged a fine to boot. Surprise surprise another lie.
The thing that gets me the most is that there has not been one person who has bothered to even say 'hey I am sorry to hear about your plight', And it is not for a lack of views. There have been many. Not surprising really I guess. People only care about themselves. And people like Bill O'Reilly and Greg Gutfeld are only concerned with whatever will get them ratings. My story is not sexy enough to do that though. So I am officially going to put an offer out there for anyone who has the guts to take me up on it. As of now the Government owes me around 150k in SS payments. If any qualified lawyer can get my SS claim approved I will give them 100k of that money free of charge. i am only interested in covering my bills and the payments I am owed going forward. But what if I am not a lawyer you ask? Well if you are not all you have to do is hook me up with someone who is, And if they successfully help me you will get 25k for your effort. That sounds more than fair no? I say so and I predict there won't be much that comes of it. Please join me. It is November 9th, 2013, Tell your friends and let's see if anyone responds.
UPDATE:
Hello my name is Charlie. I am the brother of Bobby who wrote this article. I just found this posting on his computer. And although not one of the numerous people who have viewed this site has offered to help much less offer a word of sympathy, I thought it only fitting I should take a moment to update everyone. Bob died on New Years Day. Due to his declining vision he fell while trying to go downstairs. His wife was out of town at a funeral so there was no one home at the time. From what we can determine he laid there suffering for about 12 hours before he finally died. He did however manage to leave his wife a message. It read I will love you always written on the wall using the blood flowing from his head.
I used to tell him over and over that Americans were too self absorbed to care about helping anyone but themselves. And that he would die before the government ever paid him any benefits he wss owed. I gave up on humanity and the system long ago. But he continued to believe it wasn't true. Was I right? Yes. But finding this site showed me he really believed it. And in the end I want to think that made him a better man than me in some ways. So even though I personally think you, Obama and the horse he rode in on can go fuck yourselves, I will be leaving this site up for a while to honor his memory. In the meantime I will be trying to help his widow in the inevitable fight to deprive her of the benefits she is owed.
Be proud of yourself America.